There are so many things you might do with other people’s secrets, it’s probably impossible to list them all.¹ I tried, but … . Feel free to submit your own contributions. (Of course, they will be subject to approval by the editorial board. Credit will be given if and when credit is due.)²

1. Share them with your dog.
2. Vandalize them.
3. Broadcast them.
4. Leave them to your heirs.
5. Publicize them.
6. Pad your bra with them.
7. Use them to clean your windows.
8. Anesthetize them.
9. Bar-B-Que them.
10. Proselytize them.
11. Sell them.
12. Downsize them.
13. Google them.
14. Put them on your bookshelf.
15. Put them in your blender.
16. Take them for a spin.
17. Invest them.
18. Blow your nose with them.
19. Labotomize them.
20. Burn them.
21. Nail them to the wall.
22. Trade them away for something better.
23. Fold them (at least twice) under the short leg of a wobbly chair.
24. Donate them to Goodwill.
25. Eat them.
26. Discount them.
27. Bake them in a cake and send to a prisoner of you choosing.
28. Crumple them up.
29. Castrate them.
30. Amortize them.
31. Use them to buy hotels on Park Place.
32. Wear them to a costume party. (Hint: Go as a secret.)
33. Turn them in to the police.
34. Minimize them.
35. Saran-Wrap them.
36. Validate them.
37. Add them to your grocery list.
38. Super-Size them.
39. Sleep on them.
40. Submit them to the IRS.
41. Forget them.
42. Hang them with magnets on your refrigerator.
43. Try them on.
44. Refute them.
45. Let them slip between the cushions of your sofa (down there with all the loose change and orphaned socks and stubby pencils).
46. Make them the plot of your next novel.
47. Keep them.
48. Turn them into a verb.
49. Drool on them.
50. Scan them.
51. Freeze-dry them.
52. Replicate them.
53. Put them in your safe.
54. Exaggerate them.
55. Obsess over them.
56. Drop them out the window during a long road trip away from home.
57. Cuddle with them.
58. Pack them in your child’s lunchbox.
59. Masturbate with them.
60. Repeat them.
61. Memorize them.
62. Sue them.
63. Understate them.
64. Flush them down the toilet.
65. Plagiarize them.
66. Use them for printer paper.
67. Microwave them.
68. Adopt them as your own.
69. Light them on fire.
70. Milk them.
71. Take them to confession with you.
72. Back over them with your car (twice, just to be sure).
73. Put them up for a vote.
74. Caress them.
75. Turn them inside out.
76. Take them for a walk.
77. Roast them over a campfire.
78. Post them online.
79. Hide them in your oven.
80. Obfuscate them.
81. Ridicule them.
82. Translate them.
83. Steal them.
84. Copy them.
85. Randomize them.
86. Tout them.
87. Give them away.
88. Exchange them for a foreign currency of your choice.
89. Violate them.
90. Slip them under a neighbor’s doormat.
91. Diagram them.
92. Carry them in your back pocket.
93. Place them in the trunk of your car to use as a spare.
94. Decipher them.
95. Digitize them.
96. Sit on them.
97. Believe them.
98. Make a paper airplane out of them.
99. Sterilize them.
100. Place them in your outgoing mail.
101. Modify them.
102. Compliment them.
103. Flip them upside down.
104. Insert them in your DVD player.
105. Rewrite them.
106. Wipe your ass with them.
107. Floss with them.
108. Make them your own.
109. Duplicate them.
110. Own them.
111. Vacuum them.
112. Tape them to the bottom of your desk.
113. Weaponize them.
114. Give them back.